Ticking Clocks

I decided that enough is enough. I will no longer use friendster to blog. Inefficient is an understatement. I will transfer to http://ariffian.blogspot.com/ instead. See u there.

It is inevitable that sometimes we question the faith that we believe in, to ask whether what we believe in is the truth. Most religions are a way of life than just a religion itself. It is a culture in itself, passed down from generation to generation of believers.

Having faith is considered good. The body of the faith gives a sense of belonging and acceptance to the people. It makes them feel a part of something higher, bigger and divine. The belief in an afterlife entrenches fear of sin and wrongdoing into people, ensuring a more civil society.

The reason that i question my faith is not because i do not want to believe in it. It is more of wanting to be able to understand it, its reasonings and the theory behind its multitude of laws to be able to embrace it.

Islam is not an easy religion. Muslims are required to know the Syahadat, pray 5 times a day, fast during Ramadan, donate a percentage of their wealth to the poor and to make a pilgrimage to Mecca at least once in their life.

They are not allowed to eat certain animals such as donkey and pig, drink alcohol and to come into physical contact with the opposite sex as the basic rules.

In an increasingly globalised world, such prohibited activities are becoming less and less relevant by the generation Y. Youngsters from secular and multi racial societies have increasingly set aside the seemingly oppressive yokes of Islam and engaged in activities that just a few years ago would have evoked massive outrage in the Islamic community.

Religious scholars have been quick to condemn activities that cross the religious threshold. Islamic groups condemn drinking. Catholic groups condemn birth control. And so forth.

One interesting argument is a comparison between a atheist who observes kindness and care and a religious man who cares only about his own soul.   

The atheist who perform good deeds,takes pity and provides for the poor and sick throughout his life. In the eyes of God, does that still make him inferior to a man who sits at home or in a religious building and pray for self redemption everyday? Does kindness to the fellow man not warrant a ticket to redemption in the afterlife?

I am trying to believe whole heartedly and to place faith in a religion that has been mired in bad press throughout the world. Islam allows little room for the excesses of the modernised world, which unfortunately i am used to for a long while now.

So am i a bad person to question my faith? to drink on occasion? to kiss a woman i love? Am i a sinner? Islam would think so.

My July 08 trip to Thailand brought me to Kanchanaburi, a quiet province 2 hours journey from Bangkok. It is known for the infamous death railway that stretches all the way from Burma. Tens of thousands of Malays, Chinese, Burmese, British and Aussie POWs have died in the process of constructing the bridge.

To get to Kanchanaburi, we took a local coach from Sai Tai Mai or the Southern bus terminal in Bangkok for 112 baht(S$4.50). Its a monotonous two hour journey without any incident or interesting landscapes. Once in Kanchanaburi, a rickshaw driver offered to bring us to a backpacker hotel. We agreed when he said it costs 500 baht per night. Its definitely much cheaper than the 2000 baht room i spent on in Bangkok.

There is a huge difference in staying at backpacker hotels compared to the relatively expensive business class hotels. The staff and guests are much friendly, often trading greetings and smiles whenever we see each other.

It was a 2km trek to the bridge but although it was nice to relive a bit of World War 2 history, i was quite repulsed by the many tourists who came in large coaches. They were loud and noisy, carrying umbrellas and laughing as they walked the tracks. I found it a disrespectful gesture when on a bridge that was built on the tireless efforts of dead men.

It didn’t take me long to get to know two independent female travellers from Lyon, France. They were a fun and interesting duo who spoke in heavily accented English and kept telling me to slow down when i speak.

The four of us struck out for the bridge, making (again) a 2km march in the dark. It was a different sight at night, one that many travellers and tourists do not get to see. A darkened bridge only illuminated by the light reflected from the river.

The next afternoon, we took the train back to Thonburi, Bangkok. To most people, the train would not be the best choice cause it is hot and stuffy, noisy and takes a full hour longer to reach Bangkok. The price difference between the bus and the train? The train is cheaper by just 12 baht (50cents).

Still it was not a regretful decision for us to have made. The sprawling landscape of the Thai countryside was indeed spectacular with fields of green and glittering Wats(temples). I found myself feeling incredibly alive when i stuck my head out of the train window and feel the rush of wind on my face against the hot humid weather of Thailand.   

It was a destination away from destinations. A world of difference from the hustle and bustle of Bangkok. And the total cost? Less than 1000 baht for the 2 days there.

On death row, they ask the condemned what they want their last meal to be. Its interesting how they often ask for simple dishes such as mee goreng or chicken rice rather than fancy gourmet dishes.

Its the same with me. Although i have eaten lots of good food that the world has kindly offered me, nothing beats the simple meal of rice, fish grilled simply with salt, some raw vegetables and a bit of sambal belacan.

Last Saturday, i painstakingly started a small charcoal fire outside my home and grilled a fresh seabass coated with salt, wrapped in a layer of banana leaf. The aroma itself was heavenly.

I recalled those occasions when i grilled freshly caught fish at Pulau Ketam and Pulau Sekijang. Just sitting by an open wood flame, sipping a cup of warm coffee and smoking cigarettes with friends.

That was the simple unpretentious life.

I understand now why old people sometimes profess to wanting to go back to a quiet village life, where its peaceful and unassuming. To wake up and hear the crowing of the rooster, to breathe in the cool refreshing air, to just enjoy the moments that is left in peace and quiet.

Ok, somehow i’m just excited for next year’s Eurotrip. So far, 3 people have been receptive of the idea. Two of em told me to count ‘em in so welcome aboard! I already thought of places to go and things to do in Europe. So, let’s review the stuff i plan to do:

In Paris, i plan to…
1) Meet that special someone there, of course..
2) Eat escargots and foie gras, two French cuisine specialty.
3) visit the Eiffel tower, Louvre and my favourite building of all time, Center de Pompidou

In Spain, i plan to…
1)  eat paella, the Spanish national dish
2) attempt to speak Espanyol… note the word ‘attempt’..
3) watch the flamenco, oh god, the sexuality of that dance…
4) get emotional listening to the spanish guitar,
5) visit Barcelona and all its beautiful Spanish girls
6) eat tapas and drink the night away
7) Visit the Cathedral Sagrada Familia

Ooh i can’t wait…… i’ll add in the other countries..

Saving up for next years trip to France is not going to be  joke. Its gonna cost me $5000+ so i have to really save. Setting aside $500 a month for 10 months is not going to be easy but hell i have to do it. A promise is a promise.

Anyway, a couple of close friends have been gracious enough to come with me. Its going to be a once in a lifetime trip, while i’m still single and young.

Its unfortunate many Singaporeans can’t do this. I see young Singaporeans buying bikes, cars, branded stuff and i feel kinda sad. To me, one of the greatest pleasures in life is travelling and experiencing rich new cultures.

Well, if anyone does have 5K to spare and wouldn’t mind going with me to France and Spain, give me a call. "wink"

This 18th July, i’m heading down to my favourite city, Bangkok! Lots of people ask me the same question. "Thailand? Again?" and they wonder why i love to travel to Thailand instead of jaunting to KL or Johor. There is a long list on reasons why i love Thailand so much.

1) Friendly - Thais are so damn friendly and always have a smile for you. They don’t show their irritation like SIngaporean service staff.

2) A more happening party - No cover charge for clubs, cheap bottles, good music and of coz friendly people!

3) Good and cheap food - Best cuisine in the world at half the price of Singapore’s.

4) Crystal clear waters (Phuket, Krabi, Ko Larn) - Look at Sentosa. Nuff said.

5) Nude beach in Phuket - Just hot!

6) Cheap cigarettes and booze

7) Thai language - Its exotic, soft spoken and easy to master in phrases

Now understand why Thailand is the ideal getaway and not Malaysia? Undoubtedly, Malaysia does have its benefits ,being cheaper and there are some very friendly people there. But when i have to look over my shoulder before i sip that glass of Mumm’s champagne or have some religious teacher stopping me on a beach telling us we should remember that this life is temporary and that i should probably swim with long pants, Malaysia doesn’t even come close in making the cut.

She left today. For good from my life. For two nights, I had her in my arms, watched her sleep, knowing full well that so little time is left. The time for me to tell her how i felt, for her to know what my tears meant.

Our first and last kiss were only a day apart, the first full of passion and love, the last full of sorrow and despair. It hurt to see the pain in her moist eyes as she pushed me to go. Around her neck, the butterfly pendant i gave glittered in the moonlight, almost solemn in sadness.

‘I wished it didn’t have to end this way’ were my final words in her ears as i kissed her one last time, knowing that she would be returning to another life, another page which she never did want to turn in her book.

Today, i stood frozen at the airport, watching her embracing her father for a final time, both stricken with sadness. She did not see me as i stood in silence, my courage failing. I wanted to step forth but i knew i could not, should not. She’s with her family and it is not my position to interfere, to add to her sorrow.

I watched her disappear without saying a word, without her even knowing i had came and seen her off. The pain was hard to bear, it still is, but life has to go on.

She’s halfway around the world now, thousands of kilometers away.

Maybe one day, we will meet again, in this life or another, and i will love you again.

I miss you, lil angel.

Had one of the fun nights on Saturday night, ‘celebrating’ Shienny’s and Flore’s departure from iX Architects. In keeping with the theme, i presented to both of them a self designed T-shirt marked iX Survivor. It was just nice to see them laugh over the symbolic meaning of the T-shirts.

Our first destination was Newton Food centre, gorging on chilli crabs and bbq stingray. Food was good but the Arts on the Move thing was just annoying. I was fine with the er-hu being played but two goons playing the electric guitar and crooning- make that destroying- popular rock songs was hell to my ears. I was just pissed how they note by note obliterated ‘Unchained Melody’ and 3 Doors Down’s Here Without You.

Worse, they brought a little amplifier the size of a shoebox to service Newton Food Centre.  In the end, only his voice can be heard through the mike. I knew they tried but its just not good enough.

Next destination was Cafe Del Mar in Sentosa. It was my suggestion coz i preferred a less formal setting for us to gather and chat. At Flore’s suggestion, we picked Cachaca, a Brazilian liquor.

It was heck of a potent liquor. 3 glasses and i was high. We parted ways at midnight and Flore, Swan Peng, Nirun and me barged into St James Power Station for a few hours of boogeying.

It was hilarious as Swan Peng was apparently underaged and rejected admission at the Boiler Room. We pretended to be Foreign International students (as they get free entry) but unluckily our ploy failed and we had to pay.

It certainly was a night to remember.

I am going to miss both of them. Shienny for her caring ways, the way she comes up and asks me whether i am ok. She’s my caretaker, like a little sister to me.

As for Flore, i’m going to miss her independent streak, her stubborn and rebellious nature that provokes me nearly every single day. As she once said to me, ‘we can never work together but we can be friends.’

Its been a very long weekend and as usual, when such breaks come about, i bleed cash. I’ve been indulging in eating and shopping these few days. Its a bad habit i have to stop. Then again, i’m still single and have no responsibilities to think about. A few more years down the road and all that may change. I don’t want to think about it right now.

I received a wedding invitation in the mail today. It’s this coming Sunday. Somehow, the thought of meeting my old friends is somewhat disconcerting to say the least. They will be arriving with their other halves, their families. I think going alone will suck. BIG TIME.

Recent news keep coming up with China and Burma’s disasters. Its scary to think that countries so near us could suffer such devastating natural disasters. Makes you wonder, who’s next.

Then again, maybe its just God’s punishment to the countries. The last time these two countries were in the news, it had something to do with beating up unarmed monks in the public. Maybe someone should tell these God-less governments that screwing around with the Higher power simply does not pay.